This is actually really well written. I like some of the small movements you put in like “gray curls jumping with the motion” or “clutching a croissant halfway to her mouth.” I'm a sucker for these kinds of phrases. Very creepy and well done :)
Thank you! I really appreciate you reading. I wasn't sure if the ending was a bit too vague, but I'm using these short stories to practice the right amount of implying the ending rather than spelling it out.
Thank you so much for reading. It makes me so uncomfortable that pretty random adults have a lot of influence in my kid's life. Luckily, all his teachers have been absolutely phenomenal so far.
Please forgive me. This is why I need to read a story more than once. You didn't make that too opaque. Now this is even more chilling and I wonder what she has planned for other students who need humbling.
Oh no worries! I was worried about it before your comment too. But that's why I like these short stories, I can just let them go and try something new/different next time.
Whoa! This one creeps up on you 😅 The lounge gossip feels ordinary until the end. You realize the real danger isn’t the cruel texts. It’s how quietly envy can rot someone who smiles through the conversation. Fabulous work 🫶💖✨
I get that. When I was a kid, there was an adult in my extended family who resented kids who were on a good path. So your story really hit close to home 😅✨
I agree. There are so many predators out there and it's even easier with AI.
One interesting thing I've been seeing, is people purposefully stepping away from the internet since you can't tell what's real and what's not anymore. Perhaps the young people of the next few generations will choose more in-person communication as an act of rebellion.
As a teacher of middle schoolers, it's definitely accurate, unfortunately. Once upon a time, the victims at least got a break when the school day ended. Now with social media, the bullying goes on 24/7. It's sad. But GREAT story! I love how Ms. Davis has the lightbulb moment at the end.
Thank you! This is definitely a topic that makes me very uncomfortable and protective. It's hard to teach internet security to the kids when the landscape has changed so much from when we first started using it.
My plan is to make sure my kid has a lot of real-world interests. I'm hoping those help him to find the right community and not rely on the internet to reduce loneliness.
Having two school-aged kids, this story makes my stomach twist in how plausible it is. A heart doesn't seem like the appropriate button to click for something that makes you sick reading it, but is the option we have in Substack. Well done. I'm going to go think about puppies for a while.
My kid is close to transitioning to middle school, and I think that anxiety shows up in my writing. I'm sorry it made you sick, but I hope the imaginary puppies bring you comfort.
Yes! I feel like social media is similar to other addictions. Some people are more susceptible to getting sucked in than others. Currently, I'm just teaching my kid not to trust anything on the internet. With AI getting so good, you never know who you're talking to.
This is actually really well written. I like some of the small movements you put in like “gray curls jumping with the motion” or “clutching a croissant halfway to her mouth.” I'm a sucker for these kinds of phrases. Very creepy and well done :)
Thank you so much! I'm working on having the "thrill"/tension in my thrillers.
Chilling and sinister and bam, the ending I did not see coming. Brilliant stuff.
Thank you! I really appreciate you reading. I wasn't sure if the ending was a bit too vague, but I'm using these short stories to practice the right amount of implying the ending rather than spelling it out.
Wonderful! I've known a few teachers like that in my time.
Thank you so much for reading. It makes me so uncomfortable that pretty random adults have a lot of influence in my kid's life. Luckily, all his teachers have been absolutely phenomenal so far.
Oh what does she have planned…
In my mind, she was the one sending to texts to begin with. Not sure if I made that a bit too opaque though.
Please forgive me. This is why I need to read a story more than once. You didn't make that too opaque. Now this is even more chilling and I wonder what she has planned for other students who need humbling.
Oh no worries! I was worried about it before your comment too. But that's why I like these short stories, I can just let them go and try something new/different next time.
Keep it up! You got a pretty good method. And I think we all worry how our stories come across.
Whoa! This one creeps up on you 😅 The lounge gossip feels ordinary until the end. You realize the real danger isn’t the cruel texts. It’s how quietly envy can rot someone who smiles through the conversation. Fabulous work 🫶💖✨
Thank you! It was an unsettling topic to explore.
I get that. When I was a kid, there was an adult in my extended family who resented kids who were on a good path. So your story really hit close to home 😅✨
that's so insane!
Oh wow, that ending was rough. This story is tough because it hits close to what’s happening in the world right now.
I agree. There are so many predators out there and it's even easier with AI.
One interesting thing I've been seeing, is people purposefully stepping away from the internet since you can't tell what's real and what's not anymore. Perhaps the young people of the next few generations will choose more in-person communication as an act of rebellion.
Yes! The internet is a scary place and right now more unreliable than ever. Let’s hope the new generations will be smarter and selective.
Wow, that ending! Literally made my jaw drop.
Great word choices as well, you’re really putting that line level course to good use!
Thank you! After yesterday's class, I'm suddenly self-conscious of my italics.
As a teacher of middle schoolers, it's definitely accurate, unfortunately. Once upon a time, the victims at least got a break when the school day ended. Now with social media, the bullying goes on 24/7. It's sad. But GREAT story! I love how Ms. Davis has the lightbulb moment at the end.
Thank you! This is definitely a topic that makes me very uncomfortable and protective. It's hard to teach internet security to the kids when the landscape has changed so much from when we first started using it.
My plan is to make sure my kid has a lot of real-world interests. I'm hoping those help him to find the right community and not rely on the internet to reduce loneliness.
Having two school-aged kids, this story makes my stomach twist in how plausible it is. A heart doesn't seem like the appropriate button to click for something that makes you sick reading it, but is the option we have in Substack. Well done. I'm going to go think about puppies for a while.
My kid is close to transitioning to middle school, and I think that anxiety shows up in my writing. I'm sorry it made you sick, but I hope the imaginary puppies bring you comfort.
Your story is well done to be sure. It’s just a shame it’s such an accurate reflection of the world.
I worry about social media and whatnot, especially with my daughters and how easy it can be to sway public opinion.
Yes! I feel like social media is similar to other addictions. Some people are more susceptible to getting sucked in than others. Currently, I'm just teaching my kid not to trust anything on the internet. With AI getting so good, you never know who you're talking to.
Whoa. Great story. I was hooked, and that ending! Fantastic job! Thank you.
Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it. Glad you liked it.