28 Comments
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Kelly Xan's avatar

Thought-provoking and a bit haunting 💜 this was so well done!

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you so much, Kelly. Appreciate you reading.

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SJStone's avatar

The opening line is priceless.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you! It came to me before the rest of the story and I had to decide where to take it.

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SJStone's avatar

That's how it happens so often, right? I have this amazing line, but I don't even really know what the story is yet -- fuck it; let's write.

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Coral Evermore's avatar

I loved this!! That ending especially hit hard. Damn pretentious cunts lmao

The line, "Death always bought higher prices" really speaks to the ways trauma is romanticized through art. Beautifully done!!

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you for reading, Coral. Means a lot.

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Coral Evermore's avatar

Of course!! Thank you for sharing🖤

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Story Nerd's avatar

Oh wow, so much emotions captured in just a few words. Breathtaking.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you! Appreciate you reading.

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Xlvntr Qin's avatar

I gotta say, I didn't expect how this story would go based in how it began, but I'm pleasantly surprised. Beautiful juxtaposition of how the word shame is used by Alyssa vs the art buyers. Good job.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you so much! Really appreciate you reading.

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Saif's avatar

“Death always brought higher prices.” I want to restack that whole last paragraph but the it would give away the ending. Great writing.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Aww! Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

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Hawtorn V. Rabot's avatar

I'm reading between the lines too much, but was that their last meeting? If death brings up prices, did he or someone he knows make sure she had an OD? That may say more about me than the piece, though. I couldn't tell if he was a dealer, user, John, fixer... but artist? Got me there.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you! In my interpretation, her self-desctructive behavior kept getting worse until she eventually died. And yeah, I didn't think the artist and muse met again after the portrait was done.

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Shubham Upman's avatar

Fantastic writing. The line — 'diluting her shame in other people’s bodies.' — so perfectly encapsulates shame and her self-sabotaging progeny guilt.

I like how you portrayed the vulturous nature of curators, who only think to convert tragedy into profits, and also the last line ending with - 'shame', is such a neat tie-up, of an ending.

The painting part kind of reminds me of the short-story — 'The face of Judas Iscariot' by Bonnie chamberlain. You must check it out. It is an interesting read!

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you for such a thorough read! It really means a lot. I will definitely give The face of Judas Iscariot a read. Thank you for the recommendation.

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Ari Brin's avatar

Fabulous first sentence and great descriptions throughout.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you! I've definitely been paying more attention to first sentences after listening to The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast.

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Writing Paiges's avatar

Love this! You’re so skilled at writing tension. I’m curious, was this inspired by a real painting or completely imagined?

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Inga Jones's avatar

Paige! Thank you so much! This was not inspired by anything real.

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Jay Gulick's avatar

After Googling Ekphrasis, I enjoyed your story. I liked the suspense and sense of impending tragedy you built in very short order. I loved the notion of the man feeling like it was indecent to look at the image since, to me, it said more about him than her.

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Kamie Maddocks's avatar

Wow! You capture so much tension and insight in such a succinct way. Love this!

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you! You made me realize I should include the definition in the post. I never heard of ekphrasis before this prompt either.

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Sep 19Edited
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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you! I’ve been so focused on novels for about four years now, that rediscovering short fiction has been a true gift. I feel like I can be deliberate with every word.

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Sep 6
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Inga Jones's avatar

Thank you!

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